Thursday, September 18, 2014
Lost
As jewel was running through the forest as fast as she ever can still hearing the screams of her brother. She finally found him Jacob had gotten shot by an arrow on his right side rib cage. She yells what happen what happen, he doesn't know he fainted as he saw the arrow in his side and all the blood. Lost in the woods as orphans no family but each other jewel is 15 and Jacob is 14. Jewel is a skinny and short girl maybe about 5 feet 3 and Jacob is muscular and tall about 5 feet 10. They had gotten kidnapped and forced through the woods with blind folds. Not knowing where they are or anything jewel tries to take care of Jacob and gather a bunch of leaves to lay him down on as she ripped the arrow out of his side. He woken up screaming his lungs out crying of how bad it hurts but then she heard a noise. She yells at him n tells him to shut up as she listens, she hears bushes rustling she tells him to stay here she'll be right back. Jacob scared and afraid for he doesn't know what to do he lays up on a tree as he got bored as 10 minutes gone by and decided to dig a hole he found a cord.
Meanwhile jewel couldn't find anything so she began to walk back but when she got back Jacob wasn't there she was terrified someone took him. She was sure this is where she left him; it was dark maybe 11 p.m. trees all around, lightly raining, and no trace of Jacob. BOOM!! She heard something fell she check it out screaming Jacobs name hoping he's ok as she is searching for him. It was Jacob but he hadn't just fell when he gotten punched by an older man about 38years old he started apologizing asking if he was ok Jacob pressing against his wound all the blood dripping Jacob tries to respond I.. I. It… then he pasted out. Jewel saw the man catch Jacob then he quickly took Jacobs shirt off to tear it and wrap it around the wound saying you will be ok son. Jewel shocked as she recognized that man it was his father. She follows him back it was a whole camp this whole time for she and her brother had been there for almost a year she screams at him asking why. Why is he out here the whole camp freezes as they had just saw him enter with Jacob. The chief said be quiet!! You idiot why would you bring them here!!! Jacobs father responded this is my son he's badly hurt I apologize but he needs me please, please help. He looks at the children Jewel as mad and shocked as ever for she had thought he died but instead he walked out on them, the chief saw Jacob just lying there losing too much blood so his father hurries him to the tent and stitches up his wound.
Then Jewel and Jacob's father whose name is Michael have a conversation. He left because he had too jewel looking as confused as ever it makes no sense she says you left because you had too, you left because you had too!!! My mother died because of you she screams standing up looking dead into his eyes seeing sadness. She saw a tear come from his eye but it had only made her more furious you have no reason to cry you have done this on your own! she screams she marches out the tent still mad but went to check on her brother he was awake saying it's not him it's not him repeatedly not knowing what in the world to do his father have been alive for the last 10 years. She told him to get ready and hurry where leaving and finding a way off of this island he have gotten up packed their supplies all the food they can fit in a bag and all the clothes and water. Then they snuck out back and ran they where about 40 feet away (Jacobs cut still hurting) when they saw a boat as they ran a big blast happened at the camp a huge fire people screaming crying and running. They continued as they had gotten into the boat and where 50 feet off of shore a gunshot was heard Jacob looked back it had hit jewel she died instantly....... (To be continued)
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Good story actually like it a little nice creativity.
ReplyDeleteI would take out the as in the beginning. I would also put a period before Jacob. I would change happen to happened. Put a period before you start describing kids.i would capitalize the name jewel. Past is spelled passed. The beginning of your story reminds me of the hunger games, how they were forced to fight for their life.
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